Everly's Angels Foundation

TO REGISTER:

• Send an email with the following information to AngelTeam@EverlysAngels.org

• Your name, contact info, address, name of child and age at passing and any additional information you would like to share.

• Mail a check to Everly's Angels Foundation, 3905 Tampa Rd #2696, Oldsmar, FL 34677

Life-altering.  Shattering.  Redefining.  Horrific.  Debilitating.  These are just a few words used to describe child loss. 

Losing a child is thought to be one of the greatest losses a person can experience.  It is without question the worst thing that can happen to a parent.  The parent-child bond is profound and nearly unbreakable.  There is devastating catastrophic pain and sorrow that is left when a child dies.  That pain—the longing for a beloved child—never goes away.  It endures, just as the love a parent has for their child endures.

In days gone by, it was accepted that child loss and early death was commonplace, expected even. There were comforting rituals and customs that followed these losses so that others in the community would grieve with the family or at the least be made aware of their heartache. In more modern times, advancements in the medical world have drastically reduced these numbers thereby making the loss of a child rare today.  And while this is a tremendous achievement in every way, it has opened the door for a new unfortunate dynamic to take hold: the taboo of child loss.

Discussions of death make people uncomfortable in general.  Add in the sensitive nature of the loss of a pregnancy, infant or child and it is downright room-clearing.  In the immediate following the tragedy, people tend to hunker down with the bereaved family and pull together.  This is a much needed and appreciated token and outpouring of love.  But as the days turn to weeks and weeks turn to months, there is a tendency to experience a shift, an uncomfortable but palpable change in direction.  When once others spoke of the deceased child, now well-meaning friends and even family avoid bringing the mention of the child’s name, out of love and for fear of reminding the grieving parents of their loss.  Loneliness and isolation sets in for the bereaved as time passes and awkwardness and avoidance ensues, unknowingly creating additional pain and hurt.  Child loss alienates parents from a world they once lived. 

Everything about child loss seems unnatural and completely out of the norm and the expected.  Parents don’t bury their children, don’t outlive them.  But, yet, in some cases, they do.  This pained portion of society is silently hurting and, for the most part, alone with their acute grief and sorrow.  It’s a loss unlike any other, a loss that covers the grievers’ life like a weighted blanket.  Though C.S. Lewis is referring to his wife Joy, he states of her passing: 

So aptly put, the loss of a child does indeed envelop every portion of a parent’s life.  Lost holidays, birthdays, notable events, day to day interactions, possibility for grandchildren or the continued relationship with the child as they age.  This loss is colossal.

Remarkably, through the agony of the loss, many parents do indeed muster up the courage and fortitude to keep going.  Certainly not moving forward as in leaving behind the child they love so much, but, rather, in finding ways to include, remember and honor their child as they create a new life for themselves and the family and friends left behind.  No matter the time that has passed since the death of their child nor the age of the child, parents will continue to grieve.  Unfortunately, there is no way around grief except through it.  This grieving will be different, however, as the years tick by and will even ebb and flow in its intensity and duration. This process is difficult and exhausting in so many ways.

Knowing the silence and sorrow that surrounds the loss of a child, Everly’s Angels Foundation will be hosting a Taboo Tea in Westchase (zip 33626).  Hosted on October 21st, the afternoon will be a casual gathering of mothers brought together to share in the common love they have for their children.  Though the tea is being held in October, the month nationally recognized as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month; however, the event is open to anyone who has experienced a loss, from pregnancy to adult children.  Whether you are a mom with fresh wounds, or a mother who experienced a loss 20 years ago, we are eager to meet you AND your child, through you.  

Our heart and prayer is that during this unique event, we can remember, share and maybe even make some connections with others who know the silence and taboo that surrounds child loss.  Though many of us are fortunate to have a solid support team, finding comradery within a group of women who understand the uniqueness of child loss is invaluable.  The intention for the Taboo Tea is to offer a safe place and a dedicated opportunity to speak or share about our beloved children.  Please know that it is completely optional to speak or share during the tea and no pressure will be placed to do so. 

Feel free to share our invitation to anyone you might know who has experienced a loss…pregnancy through adult children.  If you have questions or would like more information about the Taboo Tea, reach out to our team by emailing AngelTeam@EverlysAngels.org.  Address for the Taboo Tea will be provided upon registration.

If you have not experienced a loss but have a heart for these moms, we would love and welcome any help you feel you could provide in preparing or providing for our Taboo Tea.  Contact Crystal Hopkins at email above or at (813)760-3383.